Kennethbonner.com

I finally have a job.
Quite the year, really. Anca and I learned how to live with less, cook amazing food on a budget, stay hopeful and positive despite our circumstances, and overcoming anxiety.
Now, I’m employed at a company downtown called the American Society for Clinical Pathology (or ASCP here on) doing some basic IT server and workstation support. I was hired less than 24 hrs after I submitted my resume! Pretty much comes at a perfect time and at a place where I can be even more grateful.
However, now Anca is looking for a job since her company is low on cash and can’t pay her currently. So, she’ll soon be collecting unemployment as well, volunteering her time and looking for a new direction.
We also rebooted our Near West Vineyard housegroup in Bridgeport and are really excited about the group. We’ll be going through an intense book called “Celebrating the Disciplines” by Richard Foster with about 8-12 people!
My band, The Crown and Two Chairmen, is in the process of integrating a new member, playing shows, making artwork, and recording new songs. It’s an exciting time for doing music, too!
Since I’m back in an office doing IT work, I’ll be updating my blog more to pass the time. Look out for a top 10 of 2010 (both games and music!).

My band, The Crown and Two Chairmen, released a new EP with 2 songs that you can download for free! We loved writing these songs and hope that you love them as much as we do. Feel free to share them with other music lovers, too!
http://music.thecrownandtwochairmen.com

I’ve had some semi-sleepless nights recently…I’d have my brain on full power while trying to sleep. Well, at one point, a semi-monthly re-occurring thought came to mind…the end of my life. how i die. what will happen to me. how will anca go on. Usually, I try to think about something else since this causes some interesting reactions…increased heartrate, perspiration, shakiness, stomach problems…probably what some might call an anxiety attack.

Well, I had the same choice this time. Think about something else or not. I wanted to know why I was thinking this, so I decided to go further down the rabbit hole. I tried my best to relax, but it wasn’t really helping. I called up Drew, woke up my wife, prayed, and read Ecclesiastes.

I think what’s behind this “fear” (as some have labeled it) is something that has become repressed within our society. When I was a kid, I was told that by believing in Jesus, I’d be able to get into Heaven. Though, now, after reading the bible for 10+ years and other related books (NT Wright, Rob Bell, etc), I’m finding that people don’t ever have access to Heaven…that’s where God and the spiritual beings exist. People were created to live on Earth and Jesus came saying that one day God’s Kingdom will come and there will be a new (Renewed) Heaven and Earth where we’ll live for eternity. Definitely not “Heaven”, but maybe paradise-like to be on a new Earth.

I don’t think people in current generations are open about their thoughts of mortality, or too distracted by busy-ness or substance abuse of some form to fully process (including video games and booze). In Ecclesiastes, the writer Solomon mentions this, “^3:22 So I saw that there is nothing better for a man than to enjoy his work, because that is his lot. For who can bring him to see what will happen after him?”, “9:¹⁰ Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, ^[c] where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.”

I’ve taken several things from processing this over the last week+. The first is that I need a new mentality. “Carpe Diem“, if you will. I’ve decided to keep remembering to “Live Your Life Before You Die”. I’ll be doing my best to enjoy as much as possible, have no regrets, and do more things that I wouldn’t normally want to do, ala “Yes Man“. Also, I’ve decided to take out a few distractions from living my life to the fullest…namely some PC games that I play entirely too often with not real purpose since I’d beaten them long ago. I’ll also be putting more time into writing and writing music and hanging out with people vs sitting at my desk.

I’ve also become much more sensitive to death within movies and TV…processing each characters life, meaning and mentality much more closely than I ever have. Only to realize that life is not Sacred within the media. Too often we read, glance over, or quickly witness someone’s death in a movie/paper/show. AND, so often I’ve re-watched movies that I can clearly remember…probably another waste of time that I could be using for something more meaningful.

And then there’s my wife. My amazing, beautiful Anca. Every time I can see her, I try. I kiss her like it’s my last. I’m doing my best to make her feel cherished and loved and valued more than ever.

So, my final thought for this entry is for the reader: Take advantage of the time you have here, stop making bad choices, and stop talking about the weather or meaningless topics. Invest in people. Be remembered and don’t weave away from your thoughts of mortality. Be open about them, share deeply with others and ask God for wisdom. “^7:4 A wise person thinks a lot about death, while a fool thinks only about having a good time.”

The new X-Men movie of Wolverine sucks. Don’t see it until you can watch it on tv.

If you’re outta the loop, big changes have taken hold.

- I was laid off from my job at AT&T on January 31st. Many people have congratulated me with due reason. I worked there for 8+ years and although it was amazing and I was really blessed, this finally frees me up to seek where and what God might have for me to do.

- With the layoff, I also received a severance package and now am receiving unemployment insurance. After praying and calculating, we’ll be doing OK for a long time; giving me much more flexibility with my job search…

- Or the free me up to join a new band! I’m part of a new band called “The Crown and Two Chairmen” (google it for the reference). It’s an instrumental rock band in the vein of Explosions in the Sky. Very cool stuff. Check out the page: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=62086351993

- Anca and I are also leading a new housegroup here in Bridgeport for the Near West Vineyard Church we are a part of. It’s been very exciting seeing the group come alive and digging deep towards growth.

- I’m also building guitar amps now as a side hobby. I’ve built 6 now and am working on selling new ones to make a small profit. If you know anyone interested, feel free to send them my way! They sound fantastic and will last a long time.